fat_lee

livejournals are for nonses.
no really. i was just looking back at my livejournal entries WHAT A NONSE. far too busy for this shit these days.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i fail at life.

I WANT THIS DRESS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH -



jfdhglkdf

woaahh i look pretty damn scene right now. im just about to go to the doctors to get my face sorted out.
everythings going okay i think, apart from the odd few things which like to be annoying and the odd few people who like to be unreasonable immature cunts.
but overall its all well. i got stoned for the first time in ages at the weekend which was a barrel of laffs.
i have nothing to say really.
ive started reading the book junk again, i forgot how much i love it, its probably the only book ive ever finished in my whole life. well apart from stuff like "the twits", but i mean like first real book. mmm.
ive got money for the first time in ages so ima go out shopping and get some really fash clothes and then on valentines day im just gunna strole out the house looking beautiful and ill just stand there and hopefully beautiful boys will come running. but somehow i doubt that.
so my alternative for valentines day is to just stay in smoking my lungs silly, drinking my liver to smitherines and listening to celine dion - all by myself - doing it bridget jones stylee. excceellent.

YESTERDAYY WAS JOKKESSS.
NICE ONE.


=)

wiiiiierrdd stuff.
life is just wierd right now.
loads of work. way too much.
no romance.
boring. boring. boring.


im up for a rave this weekend.

SOOO
today i was gunna go into london, go clubbing and sleep at christabels flat. but im busy. and im not going anymore, going next weekend instead. but it should be fun as.
i have a shit load of coursework to do. but im too busy and important for that, obviously.
i have quit smoking. its immense and i feel great.
so my list of things to do in 2006 is going rather splendid although i need to find myself a boyfriend. well actually i dont really want a boyfriend at all, i just want someone to be on the scene you know? and noone is, really. well there is someone.. but mmm. doubt anything will happen.
also i have lots of parties coming up. so thats good.
and ive been exercising like craazzyyy! and my bum is getting well perky. : D
and plus i look really fit right now.
so all in all im on top form and my life is probably better than yours, so well, jokes on you.
yup.

contacts hurt my eyes. amy got some "aqua" coloured ones the other day and they look so fit but they are really uncomfortable, and i can hardly see. i wore them to school today, ha.
lifes good. tomorrow i might be going to harry potter auditions : D but i think i'm going ice skating with emma and gemma or something. its all good.
i am bumming the song "frou frou - let go" alot at the moment. it makes me feel all tingley inside.
ive quite smoking. like for real, ive actually quit. i dont even want to do it anymore. its great. i dont know wether i actually stick with it for long. but i really hope so.
me and amber are gunna start kick boxing and circuit training on sundays and get barreee fit. all toned and that jazz.

NEW YEAR WASSS IMMENSE. jokkkes jokes jokes. i went to annalizes house party, got really drunk. was mad. was foolish. was fun. had the WORST hangover ive ever had and had to go see family, i just crashed on their sofa and slept all day.
saw king kong yesterday. i cried. i was just like "oh im fucking crying because a giant monkey died" hahaha. ive lost the plot completely. its great. its 2006 and i feel on top form. this year im going to-
stop smoking HAA.
get fat.
find myself a BUUFFF BOYYYY DLJNF;RIO
make mysellf proper fiitt
get confident
PARTY LOTS
GOO CRAZZYY

life is so good

so tomorrows christmas. and im tired.
went to bens last night. was good.
ima fool.
eh. todays wierd. everything seems a bit surreal and wierd right now. i feel quite mad and lost...
maybe im still drunk..
meh.

yesterday was fun. school finished at 1 or something and beccy came over. we caught the train to high wycombe and went christmas shopping. Beccy seemed to know like everyone in high wycombe and so we met up with aload of people and hung out with them for a bit. when we got home we ordered a dominoes and yelled at the dominoes people because we didnt get the fanta we payed for.
we discovered that fanta gives you flem and found ourselves running for the toilet.
we then stayed up late and took silly pictures of ourselves on my phone looking super cool, and we painted our toe nails and massaged each others feet. it was just like one of those sleepovers you have when your like 7. fun stuff.
she left early this morning and i went out christmas shopping again with the farter and sister. i lost a £20 note. joy.
i came home, gave rose her christmas present. and saw christoph for a bit. i was gunna go out carol singing with rose but then realised a) i cant sing and b) i couldnt be bothered.
so im staying in i think and being scene. thats the way the cookie crumbles.
probably want a fag.

OHDEARMYDEARGAYDEARNODEAR.

i miss the way things used to be. i miss the way i used to be. i miss being young. i miss how i didnt have to give a damn about anything. and how i had no worries. i miss all my old friends. i miss how easy things were. i miss how much fun i used to have. i miss how excited i used to get about christmas. i miss not caring what people think of me. i miss my guinea pigs and my rabbit, louis. i miss having someone i loved who would call me up every night. i miss finding it so easy to just be myself. i miss not worrying about what i wear. i miss waking up with the sun shining through my window. i miss summer. i miss snow. i miss the summer holidays. i miss the days when i felt i didnt have to wear a bra. i miss not caring about my weight. i miss my wonky teeth. i miss not caring about exams. i miss my old school. and the people there. i miss the days when straightners didnt exist. i miss my natural coloured hair.
i miss alot.

yesterday was crazzy. i went to catherines at round about 7 and we were drinking lambrini and stuff. was fun, people falling in the pool, singing stupidly loud, and dancing like fools. me and charlie decided to go to town to get food. but it was like 11 and most shops were shut, so we wandered around for abit, went for a piss in hervines and went on the round about and got giddy. we got scared and left and bummed around a bit more, went to alices house and she gave us crisps and coke.
we walked into ness and amber, was extremely wierd/awkward and part of me wanted to run away as fast as possible, but another part of me wanted to stay and give her a hug and tell her how much ive missed her. but i didnt.
me and charlie got back round about 2. everybody was asleep. rose called me, oh how i love that girl.
talked shit with charlie for a bit.
fell asleep.
was a good night.

i BUM this song hard.

yesterday i went to gerrrards cross for the fun night thinnng. was really good. smoked lots, danced and had fun. met aload of new people and ye it was a fabbb night although it did CHUCK down and i got absolutely drenched. i also went in an ambulance as i have never been in one before but it wasnt as exciting as i thought it would bee. the lady was nice tho :).
today i didnt go to school in the morning and slept in and then had to go for a dentist apointment. i then went into school and got an injection for sommethinng. and i looked as the lady stuck the needle in and it was really wierd and felt funny. but it didnt hurt at all.
lifes pretty good. cant complain. and its christmas soon so im all exciteed.. well im not. but i will be soon.
s'all good.

pissed.
snit a pormlbem.

ok so im pissed off.
its a saturday evening and im sitting here drinking beer with a box of chocolates in front of me feeling sorry for myself.
to start with i found out today when the phone bill came through, that i had been on the phone to a certain someone for over 3 hours last month and my dads making me pay for it. so thats another 30 fucking pounds gone.
therefore i have absolutely no money and so nobody is gunna be getting any christmas presents from me this year.
i also have a load of rs coursework to do. but i refuse to do it because its a big pile of poo which i really couldnt care any less about.
i have absolutely eff all to do tonight. and everyones either out working or at some party i havnt been told about.
IM SO BORED. AND THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO DO IS WATCH HARRY POTTER. AND I DONT WANT TO.
or work. but no. thats not an option.
someones being a cunt. and i want them to shut up and get out of my life.

ugh. someone please give me somewhere to go.










ffudjh

weekend was good. ended up going to a party on saturday which was abosolute laughs. i spoke to a load of people from my old school who i havnt seen in yonks and it was wierd.
sunday i hung out with rose most of the day and we went absolutely insane and danced lots and lots to britney spears and what not. we've lost it completely.
today i realised how behind i am with all my coursework. i have an english essay which was due in for over a week ago which i still havnt done. and im not going to. i have about 1000000000 million hundred pages of coursework to do for rs which is due in 2 weeks time. and im not gunna get it all finished. i have french coursework which was due in today which i havnt done. and geography.
ugh.
ill get on top of it eventually.
i dont know why ive been updating this thing so much recently. its not like anybody actually reads it.
i just ate a whole tub of ice cream. bothered.

im supposed to be going to some rave in zoom. but i really cant be arsed. i hate feeling like this cos i know that if i go then i will have an amazing time, i just cant be bothered to get up, get a lift and go.
i realised im loosing/lost alot of people who i really did care about. and i should be crying and all upset about it but what the hell. their not bothered, so why should i be?
i dont really like anyone at the moment. the only person i actually like right now is rose. everyone just pisses me off.
im so bored with life. i wish something exciting would happen. mm.

i always do the wrong thing. i am such a fucking fool sometimes. i hate what i do, it always seems right at the time. but afterwards, immediately after ive done it i regret it and it just makes things ten thousand times worse than they were before. i wish i had some fucking sense.

this weekend has been really good.
friday was fucking hilarious, i went to some girls house party and got extremely tiddled, i obviously made a complete fool outta myself infront of aloada people. this guy tried to come onto to me and i told him to fuck off because i love my boyfriend so so much and ill never cheat on him. i met aloada pretty cool people and i beat aload of men at downing a pint. i was well pleased with myself. they all think there so tuff. i showed 'em whos boss. i got home at like 1 in the morning and just stroled in, stumbled up the stairs and passed out.
saturday morning woke up looking like death with a huge hangover. slept in for too long. olly came over and we had one of our leila and olly stupid days where we just sit around, waisting time, throwing eggs about the garden and being immature 5 year olds that we are. olly was being such a joker and i was like peeing myself laughing, i hate how i always have laughing fits when im with olly because i laugh like such a spaz and its so embarrassing. then olly went home in the evening and i was gunna go to the gig but decided agaisnt it because i probably wouldnt enjoy it. gigs are robbash.
today im supposed to be going to chesham to chaz' with some others, but i just realised bus' dont run on a sunday, and of course being a sunday and all i have to stay in and eat a family roast because my parents like to be annoying. this evening im going to the theatre with the rose to see her father in a play. safe.